Debby Herbenick

Hi, my name is Debby Herbenick.

I like friends, family, flowers, leaves, beaches, warm weather, gardening and the smell of morning. I plant bulbs and dream about them coming up in the spring.

I write about sex at

Here I write mostly about things that are not so overtly about sex.
How to kill someone:
Hold their hand and then never touch their skin again,
See them nearly everyday and pretend they don’t exist,
Act like everything you ever said to them was a lie.
 (via insanity-and-vanity)

(Source: iclungtoy0u, via istalkfashion)

(Source: kitschyliving, via 1994teen)

Always be kinder than you feel. (via thedailypozitive)

(via 1994teen)

You don’t start out writing good stuff. You start out writing crap and thinking it’s good stuff, and then gradually you get better at it.
That’s why I say one of the most valuable traits is persistence.
Octavia E. Butler (via fictionwritingtips)

(via mittensmorgul)

A writer is a world trapped in a person. Victor Hugo (via thetrickyowl)

(Source: maxkirin, via 1994teen)

I think I’m in love with missing you more than I’m in love with you. Sylvia Plath (via c-oquetry)

(Source: incorrectsylviaplathquotes, via istalkfashion)

(Source: malexaaa, via beautes)



i post this song a lot, but it’s the best way to remember Rick Danko on the 14th anniversary of his death.

This fucking song, goddamn.

Everyone Has a Secret. Here’s How to Share Yours.

Everyone Has a Secret.

Some secrets feel more sacred, embarrassing or scary than others. Members of the IU community are invited to anonymously share their secrets with one another. Your secret may be big or small, serious or funny, and about any topic such as your experiences with family, friends, relationship partners, love, sex, fear, school, health, religion, hope, or desire. 

Here’s how to share your secret:

- If you have an IU Secret postcard, write and/or draw your secret on the blank side. Otherwise, use a postcard or a blank index card (3x5 or 4x6 is preferred but size is flexible). The secret you share may be something you have never told anyone, or something you have shared with only a few people.

- Be creative by drawing or pasting pictures or using a variety of colors.

- Drop your secret in Campus Mail (no postage is necessary if using the campus mail system). If sending via campus mail, add “CAMPUS MAIL” in big letters on the card or envelope.

- If you mail your IUSecret via the US Postal Service, you will need to add appropriate postage.

Send your secret to:

Dr. Debby Herbenick
Dept of Applied Health Science,
School of Public Health, SPHB 116
Indiana University
Bloomington, IN 47405

Please do not include any photographs, names or other identifying details of yourself or others. These secrets are meant to be anonymous. IUSecrets cards are sometimes displayed publicly on the IU campus. If you are worried about your handwriting being recognized by others, type your secret or cut and paste words from magazines onto the card rather than handwriting your secret.


This project was inspired by Frank Warren’s PostSecret project. The IUSecrets project is not affiliated in any way with PostSecret, which you can learn more about at or through reading the PostSecret books available in bookstores and online.

About IUSecrets

The IUSecrets project was initially started as a class assignment in Dr. Herbenick’s Human Sexuality classes. The idea was to show students that people just like them - men and women their same age, in their same community, who they sat next to each week throughout the semester - were going through very similar things (and sometimes much more difficult experiences). Since then, it has broadened to include the IU community, in partnership with the IU Health Center, during Wellness Week 2011 and 2012. In Spring 2013, the IU Secrets project was featured in the Indiana Daily Student newspaper and in May 2013, the IU Secrets project and Tumblr were featured in Men’s Health magazine. We’re grateful for the coverage and for the hundreds (thousands?) of women and men who have shared their secrets as part of our community. 


The Indiana University Health Center has a number of helpful resources for students. These include: